Naruto Tourture Hour
by Jet-The-Stray
Summary: Come one come all! Tourture the Narut Charecters! Rated T for some the things that might happen on the show.
1. Chapter 1

1 **The Naruto Tourture Hour!**

Hey guys! It's me Dalton! Just call me D for short!

Naruto: We all know that.

Me: Well I gotta let the readers know! God, you're annoying.

Itachi: Just tell us why were here already.

Sasuke: Hn...

Naruto: I'm hungry...can we leave?

Me: No, I need you guys for a fic. A tourture fic!

Sai: NOOOOO!!!!! WHY MUST THE GOOD BE TOURTURED SO!??!

Sakura: Because the company let's people write stuff like this.

Kakashi: As long as I can read Make-out Paradise I'm fine. starts reading.

Me: Well I'll have to demonstrate how to do this. You send in a reveiw telling us you're tourtures, and well do the tourtures, like this.

Hi! I'm insert name hear. screen name and I have some tourtures.

Sakura has to watch Sasuke getting stabbed over and over again.

Neji has to cut his beutiful long hair.

Tenten can't use weapons.

Kisame has to watch his samehada get blended in the blender.

Well that's all I got, see ya later!

Me: And then we do the tourtures starting with the first one.

Sasuke: hanging on a wall Oh God...why does this always happen to me?

Sakura: Nooooo!!! Sasuke!

Me: stabbing sasuke MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Nnow this is fun!

About 72 hours later.

Me: Ok on to the next one!

Neji: But I don't wan't to!

Me: Hey, if you don't then I will! Pulls out chain saw

after 30 minutes of blood hurtling screams.

Neji: whimpering My beutiful hair... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Me: Ok, Tenten, give me you're weapons.

Tenten: sniff Ok...good bye my babys...WaAaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

Me: Wow, theres a lot of crying today huh?

Kisame: No! I won't let you hurt Samehada! He's my best freind!

Me: Kisame I'll have a smith dude fix it. So just give me the darned thing!

Kisame: Ok...

Me: drops Samehada in a very big blender. Now let's press destroy annnddd...

Kisame: Being emo in corner with Sasuke and Itachi

Me: sweatdrops well that's how you do it, so please send in reveiws! If you do now you'll get a free pet monkey that does you're homework for you. So reveiw now!!!

**Please reveiw if you don't then the poor little peoples of Konoha will have nothing to read. So please, reveiw.**


	2. Chapter 2

1 **Naurto Tourture Hour**

Itachi: Hmmm...got any aces?

Me: Nope, go fish.

Itachi: Dangit.

DJ: Daddy! We got some Reveiws!

Me:Alright! Oh, if you guys don't know who DJ is, he's my magically 3 year old son. And yes I know I'm a little too young to have a kid, but this is a fanfiction, so he's my fictional kid.

DJ: Can we start the show now please?

Me: Yeah, heres the first reveiwers letter.

_Hey I'm Sapphire AKA nikki10014_

_I wan't Sakura__to kiss Ino._

_I wan't to glomp Sasuke._

_And Itachi to admit Sasuke as the most powerful._

Sakura: Oh my god...

Ino: Oh my god...

Me: Yeah, I think that's a little odd to. But you gotta do it or I'll cut you're heads off.

Sakura and Ino: shiver -kiss- Blech!start throwing up

Me: DJ! SHEILD YOU'RE EYES!

DJ: AHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!

Saphire: Glomping time!

Sasuke: Never! You'll never take me alive!-starts running all around the world-

Nature show dude: as you can see. The species Sasuke-no-Tatsubawa or Sasuke, runs around the world to avoid fangirls and there insecent glomping.

Sasuke: huf-huf I think I'm safe now.

Sapphire: -glomps him- Muahahahah! You're never safe Sasu-san!

Itachi:No, I will not. Sasuke lacks hatred, so I'm not going to say he's the strongest.

Sasuke: -wearing sasuke rulze stuff- Awww...

Me: Ok, heres the next letter.

_Hi...my name is Ayame and I have some tourtures._

_1. Kakashi can't read ANY Icha-Icha paridise__or any perverted books._

_2.sasuke gets kicked in the balls for an hour straight._

_3.Have Orochimaru tell the FBI he's micheal jackson._

_4.sasuke listen to orochimaru's endless evil plotting speech._

_5.the big purple snake eat orochimaru._

_Ps. Could you put me in your story? My realy name isn't ayame, it was going to be my screen name but my little bro changed it._

_Pss.i am in no way a pervert._

Me: Hmmm...are you sure yoiu're not a pervert? And I'm not ready for any co hosts yet.

Kakashi: Nooooooooo! Not my baby's! why? God why?

Me: Just get over it, and just so you don't get any wild ideas, I'm gonna burn the books. -sets the books on fire-

Kakashi: -gasp!- passes out

Sasuke: Oh no...

Naruto: Can I do it? Plllllleaseeeee?

Me: Sure. I gotta do some hokage paper work anyways.

Sasuke: Owowowowowowowowowowo OH GOD!

1hour later...

Sasuke: why? -crying-

Orochimaru: I don't have to tell them, they already know!

FBI: I thought we had you on lock down!

Sasuke: He's already got me into a chair listing to an audio tape of it.

Snake guy: Finally! -swallows Orochimaru and the whoal FBI place-

Me: Ok, Dj? Can you hand me theh next letter?

DJ: It's from uhhh...who is it? Aunty Pie?

Me: Nee-chan sent us a reveiw? Sweet!

_Yay! HI NII-SAN!_

_I wan't Naruto to stop saying dattebayo for a whoal chapter_

_for Sasuke and all emos to stop saying Hn or Aa_

_and for Lee and Guy to stop saying anything that has to do with the word youth._

_And for KT chan to destroy anything she likes on the set_

_CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!_

Me: And that was from I like pie123

Naruto: Must, not say ...GAH! I CAN'T STAND IT! DATTEBAYO! DATTEBAYO! DATTEBAY- -passes out-

Me: -blood on fist- well I'm glad I ended that. 

Sasuke: ...

Me: well it looks like that all the emo people don't have anything to say now.

Lee and Guy: WAAAAAAHHHHH!

KT: YAY! I WANNA DESTROY THAT GIANT PICKLE OVER THERE!

Me: sure, and KT is my niece. Well, that's our show for today! Now please reveiw if you wanna read even more of the awesome action!

**WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT REVEIW A CLOWN MAY STALK YOU, SO REVEIW NOW!**


	3. Chapter 3

** Naruto Tourture Hour**

**Disclaimer: If i owned this would i be telling you this?**

Backstage.

Me: GAH! It's been almost two weeks since i last updatded!

Naruto: So?

Me: So? SO!? I ENJOY WRITING THIS STUFF! AND IT'S REALLY FUN! IN FACT I COULD PROBABLY HURT MY SELF IF I DIDN"T WRITE!!

Naruto: gulp

Garra: Whoah, somebody needs a happy meal.

Ronald Mc Donald: Badabababaaaaaaaaa I'm lovin' it!

Me: WILL YOU SHUT THE F# UP!!

On stage.

Itachi: What's taking him so long?

Me:-comes running in stage with hair in bad shape and looking like i had gotten no sleep at all.- pant pant Sorry i'm late, i had to take care of some stuff.

Naruto:-stuck in an aligator park- I hate my life.

Me: So any ways let's look at our first reveiw letter, it was signed by Sco23

I want Itachi to use tsukiyomi on Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata for 72 hours.

i wan't Sasuke to wear the same clothes as Lee and scream youth into the sunset.

Me: YAY! The only problem i have with the first touture is that i don't like hurting Hina-tenshi.

Hinata: Yup, i love him! -glomps-

Me: Heheheh...-pleaseured look on face-

Ino: So you mean we get tourtured?

Me: Well, i like Tenten, so it's just gonna be you and Sakura.

Sakura: But i hate Ino-pig!

Itachi: Can we get this over with? I've got an apointment to make.

Me: What? The emo convention?

Itachi: Noooo that's Sasuke's thing, i have to go kill a whoal clan again.

Me: Alright, -performs hand signs- Chained to wall no jutsu!!

Ino and Sakura get chained to the wall.

Itachi: Now then..TSUKIYOMI!!

Sakura and Ino: GAH!! -start foaming at the mouth-

DJ: OOOOOOOOOOOH!! Can i try that uncle Itachi?

Itachi: Have you already mastered Mangekyou Sharingan?

DJ: Mmmmhmmm!

Me: Dude, he mastered it the same age i did!

Itachi: -twitch-

Sasuke: No...no no no no NO!!

Me: if you don't i'll make you babysit DJ.

DJ: Cousin Sasuke were gonna have so much fun! Heheheh...-holding multiple weapons-

Sasuke: Fine...Lee? Do you have any more jumpsuits?

Lee: OH SASUKE-KUN!! YOU WAN'T TO BECOME YOUTHFUL!?

Sasuke: uhhh, sure i guess...

Lee: I KNEW NEJI WAS WRONG! YOU'RE NOT EMO AT ALL!! HERE'S A JUMPSUIT!!

Sasuke:-puts on jumpsuist- Hey, this thing smell kind of funny.

Lee: OH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I RAN OUT OF CLEAN ONES SO YOU'LL HAVE TO USE THAT DIRTY ONE.

Sasuke:-mentally disturbed- Let's just get this over with.

Lee and Sasuke: YOUUUUUUUUUUUTHH!!

Everybody: AHHHH!! THE YOUTH!! IT BURNS!!

Me:Let's get that vision out of our heads with our next review.

This is pretty funny so far :

I'm Ella (only on Ff),

and despite having no creativity in figuring out how to tourture the Naruto

Charecters,

I'm thinking Sasuke getting his hair died pink would be humourous.

hmm, i'm not really not that original.

Maybe something like Itachi having to hug Orochimaru and say sorry for not giving up his eyes.

tourturus?

I'd think so.

Me: Ok, that was from Ella Clevek.

Sasuke: I had to become youthful, and now dye my hair? This is degrading...

Me: Well you know what theyu say. The reveiwer is always right!

Sasuke: Crap.

10 minutes later.

Sasuke: I hate my life...-starts crying-

Me: poor poor Sasuke...oh well.

Itachi: No...i will not talk to the outside of a snake, especially a rapist snake.

Me: well i could get you to babysit Dj.

DJ: Muahahahahah. -too busy destroying a rouge ninja-

Itachi:-gulp- alright i'll do it...

Orochimaru: -still in snake guys stomach- Itachi? You wanted to tell me something?

Itachi: Yeah, i just wanted ot say...i'm sorry for not giving you my eyes...-hugs sanke guys gut-

Orochimaru: Awww. Itachi-kun i forgive you.

Itachi:-thinking to himself- I need a bath...i feel disqusting.

Me: AHHHHHHH!! MY EARS!! THEY BURN!!

DJ: Dad's having a mental breakdown, so i'll read the next reveiw.

lol. Awesome. I've got some tourture ideas... is you want to use them...

1) Ban Naruto from having ramen for a week.

2)Kakashi is not alowwed to wear his mask and cannot use anything else to cover up his face.

3) Sasuke must act like Sakura or Ino (your choice) for a while.

and...

4)Sakura must go out on a date with Naruto!

By the way, I like the story so far...It's... shall we say? entertaining. XD

DJ: that was from Hatake Sakumo.

Naruto:...WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!-starts crying-

Me: -holdin sledge hammer in hand- SHUT THE F# UP!! -hits him over head with sledge hammer-

Naruto: -passes out-

Kakashi: Huh, that's like the millionth time somebody's reveiwed me to do this.- takes off mask-

All: OH MY GOD!!

Kakashi: what? do i have something in my teeth?

All: uhhhhh...no, theres a tatoo of Tobi on you're face.

Kakashi: Oh crap.

Tobi: YAY!! TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!!

Sasuke: No, NO NO NO NO NO!!

Me: YES YES YES!! And you're gonna act like Sakura.

Sasuke: Ok...-clears throught- I'M SAKURA BAKA! AND I LOVE SASUKE-KUN! BUT I CAN'T GET A DATE BECAUSE I'M A LOSER!!

Sakura: I sound like that?

Me: Ok, i think i'm good, now here's the next reveiwer.

HI! I CHANGED MY SCREEN NAME!

here are my tourtures.

1.sasuke hug Itachi and say he's the best older brother in the world!

2.lee go outside and screem that you're a pervert.

3.lee kick guy in the balls.

4.Sasuke dye you're hair orange like Naruto's Jacket.

5.Itachi dye you're hair bright pink, brighter than Sakura's

6.sasuke sing the barney song

7.Author bring back orochimaru

8.Itachi Mengeckyou sharingan Orochimaru

9.sasuke wear a pink frilly dress and admit you're gay

10.deidara blow up sasuke and orochimaru.

Me: Ok, that was signed by, Ayame.

Sasuke: Ok...-walks up to Itachi- Itachi...YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD!!

Itachi: Naturally.

Lee: OK! BECAUSE IT IS YOUTHFUL! HEY EVERYBODY! I'M A PERVERT!!

All: WE KNOW!!

Lee: NO! I WILL NOT HURT MASTER GUY!

Me: Think of it as a training excersise.

Lee: OK! -kicks guy in the balls-

Guy: OH LEE!

Lee: OH GUY SENSIE! -both cry with sunset background.

Sasuke: Again? why?

Me: Because if you don't you will die.

Sasuke:-sob- fine.

10 minutes later...

Sasuke: now my hair is half orange and half pink...

Itachi: No.

Me: i can't make him do that, because he's my favoritest cousin! And yeah i can bring back orochimaru! But i won't like it.

Orochimaru: OH THANK GOD!!

Me: you're not out of the woods yet.

Itachi: Tsukiyomi!

Orochimaur: AHHHHHHHH!!

Sasuke: I hate my life-puts on pink dress- I'm gay!

Me: I got it all on tape!

Deidara: Can Do! Yeah.- throws clay bombs at them and they explode-

Me: AHAHAHAHAH!! Ok the next reveiwer is Tenten Sabaku.

Hi!I'm Blair aka Tenten Sabaku and here are my tourtures;

1. Sakura has to shave her head.

2. Sasuke has to run naked in front of a bunch of fangirls.

3. Neji has to listen to I'm a little tea pot over and over again for two  
hours.

Sakura: Noooooo!! i love my hair!!

Me: well would you rather have youre head cut off? -holding machete-

Sakura: no...-starts shaving head- ...WAHHHHHH!!

Sasuke: i've been degraded enough havent i?

Me: No, no you havent.

Sasuke: alright.- goes in closet and strips naked -

Me: AHHHHHH!! I'M BLIND!!

Fangirls: OHHHH!! SASUKE-KUN!! -start having nose bleeds-

Neji: I'll never do it.-already listening to it-

Me: Oookkkk...this one is from dragroar.

1. Have Naruto sing the stupidEST song you could ever think of.

2. Force Sasuke to listen to the "Naruto Ondo" while under water torture,  
wearing nothing but an adult diaper for five hours.

3. Lock Jiraya in a small room with an extremely gay man for three days, and  
lose the key on the third day.

4. Have Itachi go through the one-mile spanking machine (which takes a lot of  
people) and make sure he can't refuse.

I have a friendship with a great torture author, StCC. You should meet her.

Me: Ok! Naruto will now sing the barney song!!

Naruto: I love you,

you love me...

were a happy family.

with a great big hug

and a kiss from me to you...

woopsy daisy i f&d you!

Me: AHHHHH!! I THINK I'VE GONE DEAF!!

Sasuke: OH MY GOD! I LOVE THAT SONG! I-i mean... hn...

underwater

Sasuke: Blub glub blub blub glub!! -translation- I CAN'T BREATH!! GAH! THERES A FISH BITING MY BUTT!!

Me: HEY JIRIYA!! THERE ARE SOME NAKED WOMEN IN THIS CLOSET!!

Jiriya: PERFECT! I NEED SOMETHING NEW TO SPICE UP MY RESEARCH!! -runs in closet-

Gay man: I've been waiting for you Jiriya-kun...

Jiriya: AHHHHHH!! HELP ME!!

3 days later.

Me: Aww crap! i lost the key!

Jiriya: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!

Itachi:No.

Me: would you rather be destroyed?

Itachi: fine... -starts going through machine- OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!! AHHH! IT HURTS!!

Me: hahahahahahahahah!! I think i will meet her. later, now okay...heres Pie nee-chan. (i like pie123)

i dare Orochimaru to be thrown up by the snake thingy, so i can kill it  
again/

for there to be a make out contest b/w me and kiba, vs. you and Hinata

and for someone to feed Gaara a hyper making cookie

...meh, and can we have KT-chan annoy Naruto to no end?

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!

Me: Orochimaru is already out of him.

Snake guy: CRAP!! -gets cut into a million peices-

Me: You're On! -starts making out with Hinata-

5 hours later...

Referee: and...It's a tie!!

Gaara: I like cookies...

Me: Then you're gonna love this one!!

Gaara:- eats cookie- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!! THISISGOOD!!WHAT"SITMADEOF!?

KT: Pleassse? Uncle Dalton?

Me: Sure!

Naruto: I'm finally out of that Crocodile park!

KT: Naruto-niisan? where does ramen come from? where do people go after they die?

Naruto: AHHHHHH!! IT'S SO ANNOYING!!-runs away-

Me: Awwwww...were out of time...oh well! I'm sorry for not updating fast enough. I havent been around a computer in a while. But i will update as soon as i can, so please reveiw some more!

**Please reveiw!! If you don't toilet paper will rain from the sky!!**


End file.
